My approach

I favour an approach that is client-centered, which is to say, empathetic, genuine and non-judgemental. Client-centered therapy helps you resolve conflicts, reorganize your values and approaches to life, and teaches you to interpret your thoughts and feelings.

I also use Solution Focused Brief Therapy if the situation at hand can be addressed in a shorter period of time. SFBT aims to help people experiencing difficulty find tools they can use immediately to manage symptoms and cope with challenges.

 My personal experience, because I’ve been there.

I know what it’s like, and have personally experienced the damage that addictions cause. Taking the first step is the hardest part. I am very clear that recovery is possible in your life, provided that you have the motivation and willingness. I’ve been there myself: failed relationships, out of control debt, mangled family relationships and often nothing left except despair, a big ball of unfocussed anger, and some really ugly coping mechanisms that no longer worked.

Addiction is a disease of more.

More of whatever it is you use to medicate with: food, sex, shopping, internet pornography, serial relationship jumping, alcohol, drugs, it’s all the same really. It’s the underlying feelings and behaviors we are concerned with here. One is never enough, I must have more, and I want it right now! Or else! Addiction is about numbing pain, physical, emotional or both. “I don’t want to feel this, make it go away”. In truth, it only gets worse. Left untreated, addiction is usually a one-way street that ends badly.

“If you think you have a problem with an addictive behavior, chances are you do. People who don’t, seldom think about it. Doesn’t even cross their minds. How strange!” Addiction, from my own personal experience, stunts emotional growth, warps sense of right and wrong, and takes you places you would never have thought of, real and imagined. Active addiction alienates family and friends, and can be the ruination of any chance at real intimacy with another person, and with yourself.

As of this year, I celebrate 28 years of continuous sobriety. Sometimes, I took it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I can promise you that it is worth it, and life really does get better. The adage that ”you have to hit bottom” is nonsense. Any time is the right time as long as you have the motivation and willingness to change.

My view is that abstinence is the best path to long term recovery. By way of an analogy, if you were bitten by a poisonous snake (and lived), you would certainly do your best to avoid poisonous snakes and the places that they hang out. If that step is too big a jump for you, we can explore the options of cutting back or taking a break. I also work with many of the conditions that can cluster with addiction. It isn’t unusual to see several happening at the same time.

The Therapeutic Relationship

A good therapeutic relationship consists of three essential qualities: an emotional bond of trust, caring, and respect; agreement on the goals of therapy; and collaboration on the "work" or tasks of the treatment.

You need to have trust that I will be able to help you through what is going on in your life. You also need to feel that your problems and issues are recognised and understood by someone empathetic but impartial. Finally, know that anything we talk about in a session is confidential.

We are working with bits of your life here. You likely will feel anxious or stressed when it comes to unpacking intimate (and often deeply distressing) details about your personal life. Minimizing or omitting facts, may be easy at the time to avoid the feelings of fear, shame and judgement. I understand that and have been there. I can better support you when I have a more complete understanding of the challenges you’re facing. This level of openness and trust is built over time.

If something we are working on together gets too emotionally tough at the time, you can always say “can we talk about this next time” and give yourself time to reflect.

A large part of my practice continues to be online. While online therapy has been around in various forms for over 20 years, current evidence suggests that for many people it can be just as effective as in-person therapy. Talking from the security of your own home may even make it easier for you to open up about your problems.

A therapy session is typically 50 minutes long, once a week or every two weeks, and then at decreasing intervals as you near your therapy goals. If you need to cancel or reschedule your session, a minimum of 24 hours notice is required. A cancellation fee/missed appointment fee will be charged for less than 24 hours notice at $60 This can be waived if there is a compelling reason, convince me! “The dog ate my homework” doesn’t cut it. Your part of the counselling relationship is your commitment to be present, on time, and ready to work!

The fee for a 50 minute session is $120 payable in cash, credit card, or e-transfer. Payment is due at the end of each session. I do not keep credit card info on file unless requested.

Who are my clients?

My clients are adults (male, female, non-binary individuals), who are looking for support, and ongoing care for addictions and addictive behaviours for alcohol abuse, substance abuse, online addictions, sex addictions, pornography addictions, etc. ( insert your substance or behaviour of concern here).

By default we also end up bumping into some of the concerns listed above, because they seem to go hand in hand with addictions and addictive behaviours. If you see one, there are often others that come along for the ride. Think of the analogy of peeling an onion.

A final thought.

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

This has generally been attributed to Viktor Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist who founded logotherapy, a school of psychotherapy that describes a search for a life's meaning as the central human motivational force. Logotherapy is part of existential and humanistic psychology theories.